“Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” is a musical. That means they do things like randomly break into song to deal with their emotions and dance sadly and love-sickly with axes.
I watched it again last night with people I like a lot, and as has recently become my habit, I plumbed it for deep and intricate life lessons.
These are the things I learned:
1. You can find someone to marry you as easily as you can buy a plow and a barrel of lard.
2. The way to a man’s heart is through cooking really good stew and sassing him when he wants to put ketchup on it.
3. Make sure you finish your chores before you go get married.
4. If you’re mad at your man, make him sit in a tree and sing to him. Then everything will be grand.
5. If you want girls to think you’re beautiful, shave.
6. If you want to teach a man to dance, just sing the instructions to him. He’ll get it in no time.
7. To get a girl, beat up all the other guys.
8. Witch hazel is not an effective cure for love.
9. Love is like the measles.
10. Dancing with an axe is a safe and effective way to deal with your love-sickness.*
11. If you ever need to get your point across in a really effective way, punch someone in the face.
12. If your father won’t let you marry the man you want to, pretend someone else’s baby is yours.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got for now. Take my sage advice and run with it.
*This post is in no way endorsing unsafe axe handling.
Stuck Inside an Endless Melody 